I am currently 19 years old and as I watch all of my friends turn 20 and 21 around me, I'm starting to look forward to a new decade. Yes, I still have six more months until I get there, but just recently I have felt very nostalgic and have been remembering moments of my teenage life that just seemed to fly by. In all honesty, I feel like I should just write a book about the concept of time, but that would be too long (granted someone has probably already done it).
I've heard that your 20s is the time of your life and the period where you really discover who you are. While I like to think that, I believe that your whole life is there for you to constantly change and discover who you are. For one thing, you're legal, so there's that. But something about being in my 20s seems scary and inticing. I haven't felt like I have wanted to be seen as more "adult" or at least since I'm usually the youngest in the room, I haven't felt left out. Maybe it's my mature sense of being. I haven't exhausted my youth and am still anticipating many experiences to come.
As a sophomore in college of course I have been thinking about what my future plans are in terms of my career path. As of now, I am really excited with my major and know that I chose the right choice. Being in my 20s will allow me to really think about what I want to begin with and which path I want to take.
02. I will travel as much as I want
Finances aside, I have the liberty to decide if I want to go on trips or not without impending schedules. I hope to do more traveling later on as much as I can while I'm young and without children. Sure, I won't have as flexible as a schedule as I hope, but if all is good with the company I work with, there's gotta be vacation time in there somewhere.
03. My relationship with my family will grow
I wouldn't say that I have a bad relationship with my family at all, but there have been "teen rage" moments that I'm not entirely proud of and I think showing my family, especially my parents, that I am capable of being an adult and on my own will alllow for more bonding and less drama.
04. I can make big decisions for myself
Yes, I have already made some big decisions for myself, college being one of them, but with my parents in mind of course. When I'm in my 20's, I might be finding my first apartment, first job, first car, on my own. I couldn't think of anything more empowering than knowing that you made the decisions on your own.
Inevitably, I will be meeting new people all the time and that's the goal for the remainder of my life. Each year I am introduced to someone, at least one person, who makes an impact on my life in some way. It's kind of funny to think about the people I might soon meet and have no idea who or where they are at this moment.
06. I'm allowed to make mistakes because I'm young
Still being in my 20's will allow me to have a security when it comes to making mistakes because, hey, I'm still pretty young and there are a lot of new things for me. Not that these mistakes are okay or I'm validating them, but I think that being in your 20's is a could median "buffer zone" where you're still trying to figure yourself out.
With that said, making mistakes also means being responsible for them and my actions. I'm not 15 anymore and I can't just rely on my parents to fix the problem or hand it off to someone else.
08. My Style Will Evolve
My taste in clothes has come a long way, so I am eager to see how drastic my clothing choices change—or don't. Hopefully, they do. I'm not tired of the blue jeans, chelsea boot, look yet, but I hope that my style in my 20s remains fresh and my authentic self. Who knows, maybe I'll actually wear heels.
I've loved doing yoga, don't get me wrong, but I've felt like I need to expand the ways in which I stay active. I just started to box, which is a start, but I also want to maintain my mentality and motivation throughout my 20's while not holding myself accountable for feeling lazy one day. Maybe my eating habits will change, I'll find a new fitness class I love, or I run a race. The possibilities are endless.
10. My writing journey will prevail
I've felt a lot of pride with how far I've come with my writing, but whether it be with my job or some opportunity, I hope that I will be recognized in some way. I find fulfillment in the growth and improvement I've made, but a little part of me wishes that some big thing will happen with it. A book, a headline, an award, something.
I'm not in a rush to be 20, as there are many things I'm dealing with now in school and life, but it's bittersweet to think about the opportunities I will have coming my way (and the stress). I think that's why so many people are trying to live more in the now. We are so fixated on deciding our futures that we don't realize the impact that our present day has on us.
These things aren't set and stone, but can be used to refer back to and reflect upon when I am in my 20s. You know, right now as I'm sitting in this local coffee joint, I'm worrying about what research papers I have due, what my roommates are doing, if I'm going to study abroad or not, who knows what I could be worrying about when I'm 20, 25, or 29? Are you excited to be 20? Are you already 20?
I've been meaning to dedicate a post to my pup for awhile now, granted he is a dog and doesn't care or understand at all, but for everyone that knows him, this is a little update on how he's doing at the moment. He is about 19 months old and will turn two in July. It's funny because in the picture above, he looks like an old man—he's really still a baby. I mean we've improved on the minimal amount of accidents and "happy pees," but he is still very much a puppy and has the energy of the Tasmanian Devil.
I think the extremely cold weather hasn't gotten to him or bothered him that much, just when we have to take him out to the bathroom because his paws freeze so quickly and he will reject or eat any type of sock or bootie we put on him. So, that was a little concerning when he couldn't poop for two or three days in late January when Chicago got a blast of the polar vortex. Other than that, he loves the snow and anything that flies in the air. He could stand in the snow banks and just chomp chomp chomp all the snow away and stare at me like it's not normal for him to be inhaling this much snow.
Since I am away at college, I miss him during the weeks, but when I come home occasionally to babysit my favorite thing is having him sleep with me on my bed. It's hilarious because he used to be addicted to going on my bed even when I wasn't home, but now he waits until I'm home to sleep with me. My parents say that he sleeps on their bed when I'm away, and my mom very much dislikes it when he does because he basically lays on her. He really doesn't like sleeping alone is what I figured.
Usually we take Cooper to daycare, and saying that word "daycare," is an instant trigger for him. He bounces off the walls and prances down the hall to the back door. My mom and I take him on Fridays, but he'd be fine if we left him there for the weekend. He has a lot of energy, so we enrolled him into the "high energy club," at daycare. It basically means he's in a pen of other dogs who act just like him—a kid on a sugar rush every minute of the day. You bet everyone knows him at daycare. "Hi Cooper," they'd greet us before we even get a minute to tell them who he is.
I call him a meercat because every time he thinks he hears something, usually a leaf or the wind, he pops his head up and usually runs to the front window and stands up on his hind legs to look out and see what's "out there". Not like he would ncessarily protect us from anything. I appreciate the effort, though. Cooper is an enigma, most of the time I can't figure him out.
In celebration of the Day of Love, or Valentine's Day, I wanted to do something that wasn't just me telling you all how single I am. Of all the people that whine and complain about their relationship status and how alone they'll be for one day of the year, I thought I could do something different and more lovable towards myself. When Hallmark card prices sky rocket and red and pink dominate all the stores, it can be easy to forget what this day of hearts and xoxo's really means.
A lot of people have much dislike for this holiday and criticize the perceptions of relationships and love and all that is dating, but why waste the time? Instead, I want to reflect on some things about myself that I would like to find more love for—because self love is so important.
01. My Love for Others
It is easy for me to say that I try to put others before myself the best way I can and while I might not admit it all the time, it is definitely there and always on my mind.
02. My Strength
Sometimes I think that I am too physically strong, like my muscles are just too big. Physical or emotional, strength is something that not everyone is capable of achieving.
03. My Creative Ambition
I know I can get hard on myself when it comes to projects and creative ideas that I have for my blog, school, and just future aspirations and goals. I've realized that I need to use my creativity and just do what I enjoy doing and continue doing it.
04. My Pudgey Tummy
There's just a little flab of fat below my belly button that I've constantly been trying to flatten and tighten, but I just love Nutter Butters and buffalo wings too much to care. I'm human, I have fat, and a little cushion on my belly won't do harm.
05. My Dumb Sense of Humor
When I meet people I don't 100% get comfortable enough to just let myself go and release all the puns and dumb shit my mind thinks of. I've held myself back a lot and for that, I'm not being at all authentic and who I want to project myself as—a funny ass chick!
06. My Anxiety
Over the years I have definitely had my ups and downs with it, anxiety is not something that really goes away and is not easy to confess to or accept. It's a part of me, though. I need to embrace it and recognize what it does to me and how it makes me feel. I 've found ways to suppress it and it just makes it harder to deal with. When worries arise, I have to admit to them and be the strong person I know I am.
07. My Persistence and Costant Need for Improvement
I'm no perfectionist, but I find that my drive and want to better myself and move forward in life is a very motivating and empowering trait to have. I forget my purpose and goals of what I'm doing when little obstacles get in the way, but somehow I always find my way back onto my feet.
I hope I don't sound overly self induldgent when I talk about some of these things about myself that I have come to recognize need more love. I truly think that all of us need to reflect on the things about ourselves that deserve a little extra love because sometimes it's okay to be your own Valentine.
Pictures by Emily Rohman
Pictures by Emily Rohman
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