I think we can put a whole new meaning to New Year's resolutions, but maybe this year we can scrap them and focus on gratitude. I've talked a lot about gratitude, mainly because it's the one thing that has kept me grounded and rooted with perspective. As I look forward with optimism and the desire for a slower pace this year (as I'm sure a lot of people are yearning for), there's so much to be grateful for and I think creating a habit of remembering and being content with what you have can help resolve feelings of emptiness that 2020 was so generous for gifting us with.  

In desperate times, I've found that the cure to the emptiness, loneliness, and anxiety that most of us have felt this year is to tune into the things that we love, the people that we love, and realizing that there is so much more to be thankful for in the small and even trivial things. Such as the roof over your head, a jammin' Harry Styles playlist, perhaps good wifi connection, or even your health. Such things go unnoticed or thought about because we're so used to having things be certain, permanent, and constant in our lives. When life becomes interrupted we all freeze—those joys freeze—and we forget just how important they are to keep us sane and moving forward. 

Last year felt like digging into quick sand trying to find a more optimistic way of thinking when you were hit with terrible headlines everyday. It felt like if you didn't make sure someone was okay and alive in an email, they'd think you'd already lost it in believing everything was normal. I found that using compassion and being considerate always brings a bit more certainty, humanity, and just common courtesy to any interaction, in person or virtual. We could all use a little more compassion and patience these days without assuming someone's situation. Choosing kindness above all.

Congratulations! We've almost gotten through this dumpster fire of a year! Although it was one of the worst and probably most unforgettable years I've lived through so far, I have to say that a lot of growth came out of it. I wanted to share a roundup of what I've learned and dealt with because I even enjoy sharing my dullest moments with you all. Isn't that what my blog is for? 

I feel like I might have hit the highest of the highs on my anxiety meter this year, and I'm not alone either. There would be days filled with sitting at home in the company of family and Netflix movie binge nights and other days where I would just hit a wall and want to be in bed all day. Not only that, but even looking at the news and reading the headlines would give me the smallest bit of motivation to find something positive about the day ahead. I found myself worrying, dwelling, and manifesting the wrong negative emotions when all I needed was a reminder of what I already have and the support that surrounds me. 

When all things came burning down, I knew that someone had it worse than me. That I could put my energy towards helping others as much as I could—I found that recycling my anxiousness for compassion during these times was the best way out of an emotional rut and I will be forever grateful for that. 

With all the bad times, come good times. I am a believer that darker days will eventually turn into brighter ones. We've seen the best of people come forward this year and it seemed like a little part of humanity was restored. On a smaller scale, I felt more connected with the people I've had strong bonds with (even from a distance). Whether it be safe outdoor get togethers, camping, bike riding, dog walking, or what have you. I've always felt joy being outside. In the words of one of my favorite co-operative companies, REI, "A life outdoors is a life well lived". 

On almost graduating from college, I have learned a lot—like more than I could even remember from day one of freshman year. In my communications program, we were told that connections are one of the most important assets for building a career in public relations. I have always considered myself to be somewhat of a people pleaser, but at times, less of an advocate for people. A lot of kids in my major were focused on the hustle, and I would be lying if I didn't say I was too (and still am). With that, I felt like my interactions were less authentic, less human, and sadly just a business transaction with an individual. It's a selfish way of communicating—only listening to respond or to gain something from someone and not as a way to learn from one another. Uplifting peoples' voices and building togetherness is something I want to be an advocate for and continue challenging others to do the same. We need to hear each other because what harmony can we ultimately create without it? 

In spite of everything, life can turn out to be a real shit show and this year was only the beginning to what could be. However, I reject that mindset. Why anticipate the worst when we could be living the best goddamn life we've dreamed of? A life lesson I've been preaching to others and not myself. When the best of reality gets to me, all I can think of are destructive "what ifs" and "when" something might happen. With the amount of self-help books I've skimmed, wasting all that energy on things that might not even occur is not a healthy way of living. This year taught me that positivity is a better scapegoat than eating Ben and Jerry's at one in the morning because all doom is bound to come. I found a better outlook on the possibility of finding better—becoming better. I'm not a changed person per se, but that doesn't mean I can make changes, have setbacks, and look forward to better ones (changes, of course).