Since summer has been different, to say the least, my family and I have been continuing to take precaution when we leave the house. I think it's valid to say that after all of that staying at home, many of us have felt like we've needed an excuse to get out. Even to the grocery store. On occasion, my mom and I will hit up some stores, but we're still really weary of where we're going and if it is even necessary to go there.
With that said, I thought I would share some of my carry out essentials and what I bring with me if I do plan on going out. Obviously masks and hand sanitizers are no question, but I have found that the contents of my purse are purposeful. If you have known me for a while then you might have seen me just carrying around a wristlet let alone my phone along with it.
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This cute orange bowling style bag has had me swoon. Unlike the large bowling bags I've seen on the luxury purse market, I picked this little guy up from TJ Maxx. You'd think that since this purse has such a defined round shape that it would hit you on the hip, but I've adjusted the strap just right so it's not sitting awkwardly on my hip. Here is a similar dome satchel I found by the same brand, Isabelle, on Poshmark.
I always have some type of small beauty product in my bag depending on where I'm going. Either perfume, lip balm, lotion, you name it. The Chloé Nomade perfume has been my absolute favorite scent to wear—even if I'm just going out to buy groceries. It's a warm floral, perfect for summer and fall. With hints of oakmoss, freesia, and mirabelle plum liquor, you'd think it's a sophisticated fragrance, and it is! If you don't love really sweet or floral, but more musky and warm scents, this is the fragrance for you. The travel size spray bottle is indeed a plus.
I always make sure to have at least two masks in my bag wherever I'm going. You never know if you might lose one, someone in my family forgets one (although unsanitary, I wouldn't recommend on the regular), or it gets dirty. No one likes the feeling of a makeup covered mask, so you always have to be prepared. I love the Athleta Everyday Non Medical masks. They come in a pack of five neutral colors. At first, I thought the blue mask would be more of a navy color, but mine turned out to be teal and I can't complain, it's so cute!
My carry out essentials definitely change from time to time, but I think it's good to only take what I really need with me. I couldn't possibly ever go anywhere with a huge bag full of stuff, it's not ideal for me. Now when I do need to go somewhere, I am more mindful about what is truly necessary—masks and hand sanitizer are the number one essentials and I would hope everyone feels the same way. We have to be cautious, thoughtful, and smart about where we are going, what we are bringing (or what virus we might be bringing), and use our best judgement always. What are some of your carry out essentials?
We spend a majority of our time relying on other people's time. Making plans, setting dates, marking our calendars, creating group chats, booking trips, planning late night Sunday Zoom calls, and carving parts of our lives so that it molds with others. Life wouldn't be sweet if we didn't plan our winter break family reunions or uphold our Sunday brunch traditions. Everything revolves around time. Since we've all spent time staying at home and finding ways to cope from our bedrooms, I've come to re-evaluate the way that I let other people's time dictate whether or not I'm happy.
Seize the Day...
What I've come to realize, during my withdrawal of social events and special group outings, is that I did a lot of waiting around for people. Waiting for them to text me, make plans, confirm they're available, make a decision on where to get take out, and the like. It's been a bit freeing knowing that I can lay out the plan for the day on my own time and make the most of the day on my own terms.
I've dealt with people who don't follow through, who keep me waiting, who cancel late last minute, while I'm twiddling my fingers. You can't live your life with that BS! Do what you want and you will feel more fulfilled, motivated, and mentally sound knowing that you don't have to wait on other people to make plans with you.
Be Mindful of Your Power
For someone like me who lives with order in their lives and fancies structured plans, I've learned to let go of the control and pressure of knowing that other people are more deserving of my time. It's ultimately up to me to decide how I want to spend it.
I want to disclaim that making plans with people is great and you should never feel guilty giving people the time if you mindfully do so. However, don't give into guilt trips, or people who pressure you into doing things because you'll "regret" it later. Trust your word and don't let other people dictate your time or self-worth because you "just don't feel like it". No one needs an explanation for why your time is just as valuable.
Establish Personal Boundaries
Sometimes I find myself complaining about the things I have to do, but more recently, I've become susceptible to being around people who complain more about what they have to do and why it should matter to me. Sometimes it's not your responsibility to reckon with other people's goals, plans, or conflicts—just stay out of it and keep in your own lane.
We get blindsided by the amount of comparing that we do and most of the time, we don't even know we're doing it. We compare our personal, financial, and professional goals with other people so much that we are dumbfounded by rejection and stoop down to others just so we can doubt our own potential and move on with our lives. Time is precious, so why dwell on other things we can't control?
The truth of it all is that we invest our time in people, so much so, that it consumes our daily lives. Who we work for, who we eat with, who we live with, who we exercise with, and so forth. A simple way of not falling accustomed to letting other people take your time, energy, and power away is to realize that your time is valuable and no one should take advantage of it. Become the driver of your life. Hone your potential, inspired motivation, and start seizing back the control of your life on your own time.
Like writing a song or a poem, I struggle to find the right words to describe the love I'm given. And if you're wondering, no I have not listened to Folklore. They say (whoever they may be) that by your late twenties or early thirties you should have found your "true match" or what ever you hope that means. But that's not the love I'm talking about. I'm talking about the unspoken, annoying, and unconditional type of love. Love we salvage for ourselves and love we ration for others.
I'm not a love expert, and usually hate the four letter word for its ambiguity, but people are driven by it. People are in this world because of it.
Throughout my life I have done a great deal to not take for granted the amount of love I've been given. Friends, family, and the people I meet all have different stories to tell. I can only find myself gracious and humble, knowing that this great life is made a little bit easier by it. How selfish could I be not to accept it? Not to acknowledge it? Or to even suppress it?
. . .
Even in a sky full of grey, we bloom
. . .
I take note of the people I meet: the things they say, the things they do, the things they don't do, and have never been the type of person to just walk away from a boring conversation because I know that everyone has something to give. I do realize though, that there are those specific few people who do not deserve the love I give. One of the truest and most unfortunate realities of life.
We imagine the type of life we want to live, cutting out the pieces and putting them together to form this perfect big picture. This picture perfect love story. And I've realized, I'm not living a love story—I'm living my story and I'm going to write it.
Sometimes we need to ease up on love. We give it a bad rap. We expect so much from it and from people. We find ourselves blind to what forms it manifests. I've even taken the love language quiz and you should, too. I'm not sure how much this quiz is backed up by science, if any, but it has definitely got me thinking. Our actions reflect our feelings and emotions, so much so, that my two tied love languages are "acts of service" and "words of affirmation". To put it lightly, my vacuuming the house, reorganizing the linen closet, creating a garden for my mom, or developing a blog for my 92 year-old grandfather are some examples of random acts of "service" to name a few. It could be my maternal instincts, obsessive cleaning behavior, or just the satisfaction of knowing I did something for someone else to make their lives a bit easier.
However, "words of affirmation" are quite the contrary to acts of service, because sometimes actions don't speak louder than words. It's ironic because as a writer, I am so in tune with language and written sentiments that I often find them more endearing than just a hug or a gift at all. I'll be honest, I like hearing or reading the encouragement, the reasoning behind the affection, and maybe it's because I like having the proof? Not that I ever go looking for it, but I feel like a lot of people give the type of love that is confusing, undefined, and at times discouraging. No more guessing games—just say it.
I found love, and I was never able to really see it or accept the way I was given it. I kept worrying and counting my life on one type of love, finding that one person to get it from, but it's all around me. Finding those tiny blips of joy, laughter, conversation, and connection with a person are closer than you think. Don't be afraid to write your own love story and wait for the love you rightfully deserve.
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