We spend a majority of our time relying on other people's time. Making plans, setting dates, marking our calendars, creating group chats, booking trips, planning late night Sunday Zoom calls, and carving parts of our lives so that it molds with others. Life wouldn't be sweet if we didn't plan our winter break family reunions or uphold our Sunday brunch traditions. Everything revolves around time. Since we've all spent time staying at home and finding ways to cope from our bedrooms, I've come to re-evaluate the way that I let other people's time dictate whether or not I'm happy.
Seize the Day...
What I've come to realize, during my withdrawal of social events and special group outings, is that I did a lot of waiting around for people. Waiting for them to text me, make plans, confirm they're available, make a decision on where to get take out, and the like. It's been a bit freeing knowing that I can lay out the plan for the day on my own time and make the most of the day on my own terms.
I've dealt with people who don't follow through, who keep me waiting, who cancel late last minute, while I'm twiddling my fingers. You can't live your life with that BS! Do what you want and you will feel more fulfilled, motivated, and mentally sound knowing that you don't have to wait on other people to make plans with you.
Be Mindful of Your Power
For someone like me who lives with order in their lives and fancies structured plans, I've learned to let go of the control and pressure of knowing that other people are more deserving of my time. It's ultimately up to me to decide how I want to spend it.
I want to disclaim that making plans with people is great and you should never feel guilty giving people the time if you mindfully do so. However, don't give into guilt trips, or people who pressure you into doing things because you'll "regret" it later. Trust your word and don't let other people dictate your time or self-worth because you "just don't feel like it". No one needs an explanation for why your time is just as valuable.
Establish Personal Boundaries
Sometimes I find myself complaining about the things I have to do, but more recently, I've become susceptible to being around people who complain more about what they have to do and why it should matter to me. Sometimes it's not your responsibility to reckon with other people's goals, plans, or conflicts—just stay out of it and keep in your own lane.
We get blindsided by the amount of comparing that we do and most of the time, we don't even know we're doing it. We compare our personal, financial, and professional goals with other people so much that we are dumbfounded by rejection and stoop down to others just so we can doubt our own potential and move on with our lives. Time is precious, so why dwell on other things we can't control?
The truth of it all is that we invest our time in people, so much so, that it consumes our daily lives. Who we work for, who we eat with, who we live with, who we exercise with, and so forth. A simple way of not falling accustomed to letting other people take your time, energy, and power away is to realize that your time is valuable and no one should take advantage of it. Become the driver of your life. Hone your potential, inspired motivation, and start seizing back the control of your life on your own time.
Like writing a song or a poem, I struggle to find the right words to describe the love I'm given. And if you're wondering, no I have not listened to Folklore. They say (whoever they may be) that by your late twenties or early thirties you should have found your "true match" or what ever you hope that means. But that's not the love I'm talking about. I'm talking about the unspoken, annoying, and unconditional type of love. Love we salvage for ourselves and love we ration for others.
I'm not a love expert, and usually hate the four letter word for its ambiguity, but people are driven by it. People are in this world because of it.
Throughout my life I have done a great deal to not take for granted the amount of love I've been given. Friends, family, and the people I meet all have different stories to tell. I can only find myself gracious and humble, knowing that this great life is made a little bit easier by it. How selfish could I be not to accept it? Not to acknowledge it? Or to even suppress it?
. . .
Even in a sky full of grey, we bloom
. . .
I take note of the people I meet: the things they say, the things they do, the things they don't do, and have never been the type of person to just walk away from a boring conversation because I know that everyone has something to give. I do realize though, that there are those specific few people who do not deserve the love I give. One of the truest and most unfortunate realities of life.
We imagine the type of life we want to live, cutting out the pieces and putting them together to form this perfect big picture. This picture perfect love story. And I've realized, I'm not living a love story—I'm living my story and I'm going to write it.
Sometimes we need to ease up on love. We give it a bad rap. We expect so much from it and from people. We find ourselves blind to what forms it manifests. I've even taken the love language quiz and you should, too. I'm not sure how much this quiz is backed up by science, if any, but it has definitely got me thinking. Our actions reflect our feelings and emotions, so much so, that my two tied love languages are "acts of service" and "words of affirmation". To put it lightly, my vacuuming the house, reorganizing the linen closet, creating a garden for my mom, or developing a blog for my 92 year-old grandfather are some examples of random acts of "service" to name a few. It could be my maternal instincts, obsessive cleaning behavior, or just the satisfaction of knowing I did something for someone else to make their lives a bit easier.
However, "words of affirmation" are quite the contrary to acts of service, because sometimes actions don't speak louder than words. It's ironic because as a writer, I am so in tune with language and written sentiments that I often find them more endearing than just a hug or a gift at all. I'll be honest, I like hearing or reading the encouragement, the reasoning behind the affection, and maybe it's because I like having the proof? Not that I ever go looking for it, but I feel like a lot of people give the type of love that is confusing, undefined, and at times discouraging. No more guessing games—just say it.
I found love, and I was never able to really see it or accept the way I was given it. I kept worrying and counting my life on one type of love, finding that one person to get it from, but it's all around me. Finding those tiny blips of joy, laughter, conversation, and connection with a person are closer than you think. Don't be afraid to write your own love story and wait for the love you rightfully deserve.
I have to admit, I've been trying my best to stay up to date on all things blog, but I've definitely felt good not feeling like I need to rush anything with it either. July has breezed by and I don't think it's too late to set mid-month goals. You have to start somewhere! This will kind of be an update on what I've been up to this summer and some of the things I have planned (amazingly). Summer has felt almost like things have returned to "normal," but I know Chicago is nowhere near that—or anywhere else for that matter.
Having somewhat of a routine this summer has helped keep me motivated, inspired, and productive. If you know me, I always need to have something to keep me occupied. Whether it be a book, an article, gardening, a fitness goal, or what have you. July has been the quick turn around and I have been in the mood to get my sh*t together a bit because I know August is usually a lot more fast paced as school begins to come around. Isn't that crazy?!
01. Continuing my internship with FCB (Foote Cone and Belding) Chicago! In the spring, I had this small pebble of hope that there would be some opportunity for me to enhance my public relations and advertising expertise. However, due to the pandemic, I lost a few internships and I'm sure a lot of my fellow peers did, too. It was only until late June, I was on the phone with the HR rep from FCB and she was describing this unpaid, five-week program that they were just launching called FCB Academy.
I am already on week two and am loving it. I tell everyone that it feels like virtual summer camp because there's so much to do, learn, and so many new people to meet. We meet everyday for agency classes, workshops, roundtables, and assignment share outs. Every week is a new theme with a new initiative towards executing a creative advertising brief. I have already made so many kindred connections and if there's anything I've already learned it's that FCB cares and values everybody as equals.
02. I'm a part time nanny! After 8 years of babysitting, I thought I would get sick of it, but I think childcare is in my blood. Granted, my mom is a preschool teacher. I've never had a problem with watching kids and I think my maternal instincts allow me to do well at the job—no matter the age. It's been a saving grace on the weekends and the best way to make money, in my opinion. Now, I know what you're thinking. How can I nanny during a pandemic? With a mask, of course! To give you reassurance, the parents, who are essential workers, have taken all precautionary measures.
03. My grandpa's blog launch. This has been a month in the making and started out as a discussion of all the written work my 92 year-old grandpa has done over the years as a professor and dean at Michigan State University. Exploring pieces of him and what goes on in that wise brain of his has given me the honor to work on a project like this with him. He talks all things literature, history, philosophy, religion, and all the cards life has dealt him so far on his blog titled, New, Every Morning. I think a lot of people can learn from him, so please give it a read and a support!
Within the next month, I hope to have more of his essays, poems, and articles to share on his blog. I think now is a great time to be accumulating his work. Mainly because I've never seen any of it. My grandpa is kind of the root of my love for writing and creating. I think I at least owe it to him to share his work to those who will find joy, insight, and wisdom from his growth and long life endeavors.
04. Eating with a purpose. I find joy in eating, but I also find it to be an addictive and impulsive habit when I'm really not hungry. The Rohmans are keen to snacking, especially late at night, so I've been working on this impulse and when I feel an urge to sneak into my kitchen cabinet for a handful of Swedish Fish (although treating myself has only been moderated). I will result to eating a bag of frozen grapes or walnuts instead. Maybe it's just because I like to nibble on things because I've only just eaten dinner right before.
I've also made some better choices: replacing regular 2% with almond milk, being sure I eat something fiber-full like yogurt and granola, and eating more veggies to carbs. I won't try calorie tracking apps because I don't believe in them, but starting from the source and having already healthy food accessible has helped tremendously.
If you're feeling like you have to postpone goals or that it's too late and you'll just "start tomorrow," baby steps, baby steps, baby steps. Perfection is not obtainable, but progress is. Whether in your physical, mental, social, professional, academic life. Be kind to yourself, continue to push on the things you love and the ideas that move you, engage in conversations, be true to what you need, and breathe. It's just July!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Social Icons