Every time someone asks me, "Natalie, what do you want to do when you grow up?". Most times I would muster something along the lines of public relations, communications, content creation, but above all else—creative. A percentage of the time I might say something like an environmental conservation PR person, in hopes of one day escaping to the mountains, breathing fresh air, and doing social media for the National Park Service. In reality, I imagine myself working downtown Chicago, as my roots have brought me up here and it would be stupid not to. I mean Chicago is the epicenter of creativity. 

In all things I do, I find myself inspired. Less recently, though, it has been hard for me to find creative freedom in what has been a rather challenging and uncertain time period. Our world is going through a lot, and it was time for me to reflect on the things that mattered most. Whether I was comfortable with it or not. You see, creativity does not always come easy. There are many factors that play into these ground-breaking ideas. Great artists didn't just escape onto a yacht in the Mediterranean and say "Here is where I make art". Many of them suffered through current turmoils and strifes—pandemics, even. I'm no Bill Nye of the creative mind, but to put it in perspective; great ideas don't always come easy. When or how we want them to. 

Sometimes creativity comes from nothing (and I wholeheartedly sneer at those who can constantly come up with stuff), and other times it comes from your 8 a.m. iced chai tea latte and that's just your luck. After five years of writing, creating, and developing this blog, I am constantly in a struggle with my own creative agency. Many of my ideas were just sub-par articles of what Google could already tell you. What products you already knew you needed to buy, what ideas were already valid, that golden retrievers are cute, and so on. However, I took ahold of my creative agency, because I knew that my ideas would come if I was patient. I did not dig up some article ideas (although I will be held guilty for those late night Pinterest researches) and I was not happy with what I was writing until it just flowed right off my fingertips. 

Being confident with your own creative agency is like creating a dinosaur diorama in fifth grade. We were SO proud of them. The amount of hours spent on the basement floor, hot glueing, cutting cardboard, and making sure your little sister wouldn't play with your Little Tikes dinosaurs that were secured to little plastic ferns you found from your Thomas the Train set. You were ready to show everyone what you worked tirelessly on. Even though we knew that Samantha had the name brand crayons and sequins to win the ribbon and a round of free mini golf. That diorama has, to this day, sat in your basement game cupboard. You will never throw it out because you want your kids to bask in its glory. 

I might have gotten a little carried away with dioramas, and there may or may not be one sitting proudly in a closet, but the point is, being confident with your own creative agency comes with its rewards—even if you mess up, fail, or lose the ribbon to Samantha. There's a time and a place, and your time will come. 

I live and breathe creativity when it comes to public relations and advertising. Sometimes so much that I can't take it anymore. I need to read someone else's creative ideas, immerse myself on current news, watch commercials, get lost in a book, run outside rather than on my dad's old treadmill, or play somebody else's playlist for a change. Being creative sucks, I get it. Constantly trying to be inspired—to know what the right thing to say, create, draw, or compose is—can suck the living right out of your soul. With all of the late night scribbling in my head, I knew I needed to do one thing to solve my creative road block:

In the creative world, everything is fast moving. One idea after the other, and they're not always great ideas. What I've learned is that it's okay to doubt your ideas, to doubt your abilities, and it's definitely okay to stop. There's a lot going on, in the universe and in our minds, and sometimes the best remedy for our creative consciences is to just...pause. 

A pause to reset. To realign and reflect has been helpful for me to focus on my 1) mental health, 2) accepting my creative flaws, 3) and to focus on being comfortable with the uncomfortable. In terms of having the time to pause and rationalize with my own inner dealings, but also the fact that these past few months have felt like a never ending social media binge and I knew I had to cut myself off for a bit for the sake of keeping me sane and grounded in the things I love the most. 

01. Reading. Reading, reading, reading. Articles, news, too much news, and books. My normal summer activity is to fill the last two hours of the day snuggled up reading. I read a lot and take in a lot of information, partly because of what is happening in our world, but also because I have come to realize that it's a pretty nice escape. 

Reading has been my most inspiring hobby and I kick myself for not getting into reading sooner. My town has these Little Free Libraries, or these little library mailboxes. Our library is closed, so I've been venturing out and finding random book selections all over. I just finished reading In a Dark, Dark Wood by Ruth Ware. It's a page turning thriller and the best book to read before bed...if you dare. 

02. Running. I've always hated running, but the stiff air inside has kept me long enough from running on the treadmill downstairs to creating short little routes around our neighborhood. I like the open air, sometimes running without destination, and just having space and a time to think. There's much solitude in running, so it has been a pleasant heart rate lifter and break from being inside all day. 

03. My creative internship with FCB Chicago just kicked off this week! I know it's not much of a pause, but it is a great start to something that will engage and spur my creativity throughout the rest of the summer. My first week of orientation felt somewhat like virtual summer camp. I also learned that FCB Chicago was the founder of orange juice, so the more you know! I am thrilled to continue this internship and learn from some driven industry professionals who work on some very distinguished clients like Coca-Cola, Levi's, and Canon. Although it is an advertising position, I will be able to listen and learn to creators and innovators alike. I'm very grateful to have this experience and get to meet some inspiring people in the process. 

I know having time to think can seem intimidating, even a few days of not creating or being productive can feel like I'm at a stand still and I'm left unmotivated. However, I've learned that taking necessary breaks—even when you don't expect them or think they're needed—can remedy a feeling of distrust with our own creative conscience. This world seems to go a little bit too fast. It can be all talk with not much space to listen and learn. Slow it down and trust yourself. Your ideas will be heard. 

While the world is unraveling at the seams at traumatic rates, I wanted to continue to use my platform as a space of positivity. Being able to reflect on what this outlet has allowed me to express has also made me appreciative that I have the freedom to voice my opinion and be heard—much like everyone else should have the ability and freedom to do so. That being said, today marks my fifth year anniversary of my blog! What began as a summer hobby on my iPod has turned into a timepiece and growing extension of my creative identity and self expression. This time has allowed me to reflect on all of the highs and lows of my life, but I think one things for sure, my blog has always been there for me and it is incredible to think that it has stuck with me for all of these years. 

To give a little snapshot of how my blog started, the summer of my sophomore year of high school was spent nannying kids across the street. While I loved having a job, I knew there were definitely times I found myself wanting to do more with my free time. Growing up, I was always reading articles, blogs, or watching vlog channels on my iPod. Whether beauty, fashion, or lifestyle related, I was always finding creative ways to stay inspired and work on DIY projects or makeup tutorials. When I found Blogger, I began writing really small posts on my iPod about my favorite makeup products and using my less than average iPod photography skills to start creating flat lays or doing photoshoots in my backyard. 

My blog was just a side hobby, but as I started getting feedback from friends and bloggers online, I began to realize what this outlet might become. This blog has grown with me through everything and has allowed me to escape, share, and explore parts of my life that I wouldn't have reflected on if I didn't have a blog. For this anniversary, I thought I would share some of the most memorable blog posts from the past five years. 

This was a very memorable year for me because it was the beginning of my yoga journey and the year that I began to to become more passionate about fitness. I have always and still am very passionate about doing yoga and am an advocate for its numerous benefits for your body. While I focused mainly on yoga during high school, college opened me up to a wide variety of other exercise regimes and work out classes that have made me interested in boxing, pilates, meditation, and trying out spin classes. I will always remember how yoga grounded me, as I have become stronger and more in control of my mentality because of it! 

This blog has been through a lot of my life and has evolved as I've grown with new experiences. It's humbling to know how much this art form allows you to do, to express, and to voice your own opinions and thoughts about anything and everything. 

If there is anything special I would ask of this anniversary is that anyone reading this is inspired to use their voice as a power for change of thought and positive discussion. I plan on continuing this blog and this community I have created because of the impact even just one voice can make. I am passionate that writing will allow us to all find creative and expressive direction in all that we aspire to do.  Thank you all for supporting my blog and creative endeavors throughout the years! Cheers to five more :) 

If there's one thing I've been asking for, it's a hair cut. My last hair cut (as gross as it is) was last October. When I was in high school, I was getting hair cuts every two or three months to maintain my long bob, but now that I'm growing my hair out I figured that I might as well see how far I can go with managing my hair. I think I've been doing a good job with it because I haven't felt the need to use hot tools or a ton of products to hold it in place—like I do that normally—but it's been nice to let my hair hang loose a natural for a while. 

Thankfully, I have secured an appointment with my hairdresser to fix up my color and length. I'm thinking about going brighter and possibly blonder, but my sisters say they love my brown hair, so we'll see what I'm feeling! I started coloring my hair about two years ago and I have to say, I think I'm obsessed. It's true—the new seasons bring new hair reasons! 

There are other products I love like the Ouai Texturizing Hairspray for some added hold and body. I also have a new find, the OGX Honey Hold spray for indestructible hold on more humid days when I want my curls to stay in place.  

I will fully disclose that I am not sponsored by Amika products, but if the opportunity arose, I would definitely love to be a brand ambassador for them. Growing up I used mainly Tresemmé, so I thought it was about time to give my hair some love, especially now that I am coloring it. 

My hairdresser got me obsessed with their products and I realized that my hair has become so dry over the years, partly because I wasn't using the best products for my hair, but also because I was using chemical stripping shampoos and conditioners. I also shower a lot since I workout and am constantly active, so I made sure to put my hair first and find products that won't strip it away of its nutrients and color. 

I scored and found this set at TJ Maxx and would highly recommend looking there first for more higher end hair products. They have a great selection of salon rated brands for decent pricing. Plus, I've had these bottles for a few months and I have barely used half of it. One product that has really saved my hair has been Amika's The Shield Style Extending spray. Now that it's starting to get humid, I like to spritz this on top of my hair as the finishing seal and it has really proved to have staying power. Most products I've found that promise to keep a hold, will flatten within a few hours, but I think I've found my staples and will continue to enjoy them throughout the summer. 

How have you been managing your hair recently?