Many people deal with having to go through the process of purchasing a new phone—you know how it goes. Your old one "breaks" and you're instantly made to think, by some god of Apple, that there's no more use in trying to get it fixed, so you resort to the process no one really wants to go through, or pay for, but since society makes you believe that you should get a new iPhone, you get a new iPhone. We've all been there.
This past week I bought a new phone. The iPhone Xs to be exact. I will not beat down this phone, because it is a really nice phone—fancy cameras with depth effect and a facial recognition passcode system that makes me feel like I'm James Bond. The phone itself is one thing, but the reason I got the phone was another. Details aside, my old iPhone 7 was perfectly fine. It was just that "time".
Earlier this year I took an environmental science class that focused on sustainability and one of the things that stuck with me was the idea of perceived obsolescence. That "time" which urges us and our very consumeristic selves to buy the next iPhone, upgrade to a better car, replace something out of "trend," all of these disposable and subconscious desires pop up out of nowhere—we're left dissatisfied and conform to what companies tell us we need to buy, replace, upgrade, and all for something better.
I've had my fair share of Marie Kondo-ing my life and organizing, decluttering, or taking inventory of everything I own. It's just a part of me that gives me release, satisfaction, and room to grow. The tangible "things" that exist in my life have been greatly thought about—no I don't name my knick-knacks—but, I have found that dwelling on the things I have and don't have has no place in my life.
I've come to this conclusion before and push it aside—prioroties and all. It makes me sick. Why this "urge" takes over, I don't know. Monkey see monkey do. We are creatures of desire and want. This urge hasn't just occurred with the tangible, but during times when I'm at an all-high in my life and the dark cloud wooshes over me like no bitch, you don't get to be happy.
Gratitude and finding it is hard. I've talked about it before. It can be like a cow grazing in the grass, so much grass to choose from, but the cow just eats in the same, overeaten hole in the ground every single day. My metaphors need more work, but the point is, the cow is perfectly content with its overeaten hole of dead grass. No other cow to please.
Maybe I'm the cow. Maybe I'm not. Maybe you're the cow.
Don't take offense to me calling you a cow. I love cows. Anyway, finding appreciation in the disgruntled, dilapidated, and average or less than is a challenge, to say the least. Things we wish we had, but are forced to settle with: our hair, our car, our home, our relationship, our degree, our job, etc. There's always going to be more, but we are so impatient with life. We run on double-shot lattes and malcontent.
Being active online and a blogger has come with its malcontents. You always want to have the nicest photos, perfect outfits, and a perceived aesthetic. You think your photo is good? Wait until you see hers—posted five minutes after you worked two hours for the perfect selfie.
I'll be honest, I have never had to sit in front of the camera for that long, but I'm sure others have. It's the culture we have created. Perfection is emanated from our screens day and night. We keep up by having this urge tell us we need to change, spend money, photoshop, etc. I'm distracted, obsessed, and at times I am so frustrated with myself for feeling like I can't be present with the people I'm with or the things I'm doing because there's something else I need or want slapping me in the face.
I always think about ways I can be more grateful. I am so lucky to be where I am right now. I think I can be very hard on myself because I fear that it could all just vanish. So much so, that I find ways to control it. All of the good in my life has been painted over with my inability to envision this life as it is, nothing more, nothing less.
My teen years resulted in me beating myself up with "what ifs" and I'm ready to start thinking more of "what is". There are many ways I have tried to cope with this urge I have been talking about. Meditating and having a mental break to just check back in with your values and priorities has helped. I do yoga, so any time I can redirect my focus has allowed me to re-connect with things that matter: my family, my friends, my health, my drive, my mood, my gratefulness, all of the above.
It is not an easy feat. I'm with you. You don't have to do yoga to be grateful. You could be in your car during rush hour, finishing a load of laundry, in an Apple store buying a new iPhone you think you "need," anywhere you are gratefulness comes with great power—and responsibility. We are responsible for fostering it into our lives, our interactions, our relationships, our daily urges. What we have is all we got. How do you graze in gratitude? 🐄
In a matter of five weeks, I will be starting my junior year of college. WOW. How has the time gone by? I don't like to toot my own horn, but I am very excited (and nervous) for this year—but mainly excited. I had no idea where I was going to be my junior year of high school, let alone college.
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I have to say, these have been the most amazingly challenging and discovering years for me. Having this blog along the way has helped me through it to say the least. And I hope you, too! College has been a fun ride and I'm really not ready for it to end. Of all the experiences I have had, friends that I've made, opportunities given and found, DePaul has without a doubt been one of the best decisions I've made in my life and I wouldn't change it for the world.
Here is what I will be looking forward to this year...
01. A better sense of belonging. Freshman year was hard to get my footing, especially when everything is new and unknown. I struggled to find a "group" or club and this year I have two that I love, Her Campus DePaul and DePaul PRSSA. Both career-driven organizations, but also just amazing groups of people.
My junior year will be filled with new responsibilities, new chances to get involved, and more people to meet and connect with.
02. Being the co-president of Her Campus DePaul. This group means so much to me. Her Campus Media is a student-run online magazine where students can completely express themselves. It's my baby. This past year I was an editor, social media director, and copywriter for it—my passions grew so much so that I was nominated for the lead position and I am so excited to start this journey and see this group of powerful ladies grow! It's groups like these that stay with us forever.
Being in this group has not only allowed me to explore career options, but also get hands-on experience in the public relations field by going to agency visits, hosting workshops, writing for their exPRess blog, and also being able to network with some of the top PR professionals. I am looking forward to our district conference this year and to take part in the production of it all.
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| That smize though :D |
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| What are you looking forward to this year? |
04. My new roommate! I am so excited to be living with one of my good friends, Taylor this year. We'll be living on campus in an apartment together and have already started planning how everything is going to look. It'll be really nice to have a shared space with someone I know since the past two years I've lived with random roommates. I will probably do an apartment tour as I did last year, I got very lucky with last year's apartment, as it was much bigger, but I think you all will still be curious to see how we decorate it.
05. Internships and internships galore. I already have an internship that I am beginning to love. It's with a boutique PR agency in Chicago called Papergirl PR and Marketing. Already I've learned so much, and it doesn't stop there! I want to have multiple skillsets so I will be on the lookout for paid internships this year like crazy. Might stress me out, but who knows what will come my way.
06. Seeing my writing evolve this year. I hope that with this writing tutor job I will be taking on that I will learn a few more things about writing and also other people's writing. I get so used to seeing and reading my own, Her Campus has helped with that, but tutoring will be beyond another level. I start training for it at the end of the summer and am curious to see how big of a job it will be.
As amazing as it all is, I have many worries to be quite honest. One of them is if I can manage to balance it all this year.
It can be hard to find your spot in college, but within a matter of time, you will have fifty things on your plate and wonder how it all got there. I think this year will be the best yet. What are you looking forward to the most?
Summer Flies, Honeybee
Here we are, a month later, carving out my goals for the next month—August! Leo season is now upon us and my birthday is up and coming towards the end of the month. July went by quick as I got my routine back together and returned from Europe. The first week of July I was in Spain, made a quick trip to Missouri to see some family friends, and finally got back into somewhat of a routine again. July has shaped up to be a productive month and August will be one of last summer vacations and productivity. Here's what you might see from me this month...
01. My internship! A week back from Europe I started my public relations internship with a small boutique PR agency called Papergirl PR & Marketing. I interviewed for a public relations position in May and just so happened that they were happy to have me on board with all of the experience I have had at DePaul. It all occurred very fast and now I'm doing work for their clients which are restaurants, cafes, and bars around Chicago. Some of these include Umbria Coffee, Weber Grill, The Beer Garden at Navy Pier, and more. I am thrilled to be working with the team and will share my experience as the month goes on.
02. Getting back on it. I've felt out of sorts lately. Maybe it's because I have been away from a routine since the beginning of June, but I really want to find my footing again this month and get back to my organized and motivated self again. I want to try out new fitness classes, like barre or boxing, and take up new skills to get me motivated again. Possibly try out a new yoga studio? Read a book? I don't know, but hopefully, I can be less bored with the same old and more enthusiastic about trying new things this month.
03. I would really like to get my camera back out again. I didn't take it to Europe, and I was a little disappointed that I didn't. However, carrying it everywhere and worrying about it getting stolen was going to be an anxious nightmare. This month I really want to go out and find some aesthetically pleasing fields or murals to take pictures at and try to test my photographic abilities with other subjects. As much as I love photos of me (ha), I also love taking photos of other people. A few months back I did graduation photos for a friend and realized how much I love going on photoshoots and making people look good—to say the least!
04. My birthday! This year I turn the big 2-0 and am quite thrilled to be in my 20s. As much as I embraced my teenage years, I feel as though my maturity level has always been in my 20s. I haven't really made any plans for it yet, but I'm really into low-key birthday dinners and just a bonfire with friends. I just heard that Crate and Barrel has a new restaurant called Table at Crate, which I am eager to try out. Apparently, not all Crate and Barrels are transforming their stores yet, but it's a way to showcase their products which I think is brilliant.
05. Sprucing up my portfolio. Over the three weeks, I was in Europe for the international advertising abroad program, I had the chance to work on creative campaigns for clients each week and execute advertisements to go along with it. All of which I am proud of and would like to showcase on my blog. By next month, I want to have all of those campaigns on here, which will be under my portfolio tab for you to explore!
This summer has been jam-packed with things to do and I am looking forward to a new month with new goals! It's always refreshing to turn the calendar and make a plan for the time being until I start school back up in September. Anything fun on the agenda this month?
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