In celebration of the Day of Love, or Valentine's Day, I wanted to do something that wasn't just me telling you all how single I am. Of all the people that whine and complain about their relationship status and how alone they'll be for one day of the year, I thought I could do something different and more lovable towards myself. When Hallmark card prices sky rocket and red and pink dominate all the stores, it can be easy to forget what this day of hearts and xoxo's really means.
A lot of people have much dislike for this holiday and criticize the perceptions of relationships and love and all that is dating, but why waste the time? Instead, I want to reflect on some things about myself that I would like to find more love for—because self love is so important.
01. My Love for Others
It is easy for me to say that I try to put others before myself the best way I can and while I might not admit it all the time, it is definitely there and always on my mind.
02. My Strength
Sometimes I think that I am too physically strong, like my muscles are just too big. Physical or emotional, strength is something that not everyone is capable of achieving.
03. My Creative Ambition
I know I can get hard on myself when it comes to projects and creative ideas that I have for my blog, school, and just future aspirations and goals. I've realized that I need to use my creativity and just do what I enjoy doing and continue doing it.
04. My Pudgey Tummy
There's just a little flab of fat below my belly button that I've constantly been trying to flatten and tighten, but I just love Nutter Butters and buffalo wings too much to care. I'm human, I have fat, and a little cushion on my belly won't do harm.
05. My Dumb Sense of Humor
When I meet people I don't 100% get comfortable enough to just let myself go and release all the puns and dumb shit my mind thinks of. I've held myself back a lot and for that, I'm not being at all authentic and who I want to project myself as—a funny ass chick!
06. My Anxiety
Over the years I have definitely had my ups and downs with it, anxiety is not something that really goes away and is not easy to confess to or accept. It's a part of me, though. I need to embrace it and recognize what it does to me and how it makes me feel. I 've found ways to suppress it and it just makes it harder to deal with. When worries arise, I have to admit to them and be the strong person I know I am.
07. My Persistence and Costant Need for Improvement
I'm no perfectionist, but I find that my drive and want to better myself and move forward in life is a very motivating and empowering trait to have. I forget my purpose and goals of what I'm doing when little obstacles get in the way, but somehow I always find my way back onto my feet.
I hope I don't sound overly self induldgent when I talk about some of these things about myself that I have come to recognize need more love. I truly think that all of us need to reflect on the things about ourselves that deserve a little extra love because sometimes it's okay to be your own Valentine.
Pictures by Emily Rohman
Pictures by Emily Rohman
I think that was the world's longest January ever. Not to mention the coldest. If you weren't aware of the polar vortex that was happening practically everywhere throughout the US, well Chicago went sub-zero and had a -50-degree windchill. Then it went 100 degrees warmer and I've experienced some whacky Chicago winters, but this one tops the cake.
I'm sure you're sick of hearing about the weather, but us midwesterners are fascinated. January seems to slump a lot of people, especially because it's frigid and everyone is trying to get back into the swing of things. I've found it really hard to transition back into my routine, but I'm trying as hard as I can to keep up with school!
Everyone I know is looking forward to sunnier and brighter days. While I hate pushing my life away and forgetting about the past months, it really feels refreshing to turn the calendar and start over. Here's what I might be doing this month...
01. While I have been really getting back into study mode, I haven't put my blog on the back burner. As you might have noticed, I have a new and improved look! I've been trying to develop a theme over the past month that I really like and I think what I'm doing will suffice. It's mainly finding the right editing filters and designs that I want to maintain across all my platforms. So far, I am quite pleased with how it all looks and am excited for what new content I will create within the next month.
02. My dad and I are going to see Panic! At the Disco this month and I cannot tell you enough how excited I am for it. I have been a passionate fan and listener for a few years now and sometimes I forget how much fun I have at concerts.
This year I would love to plan to go to more concert outings or like music festivals. Thankfully, since I live in the city and am so close to so many smaller concert venues, I'm able to catch some of my favorite smaller bands that come to town. One of the major perks of going to school in Chicago.
03. I am an active member of my schools Public Relations Student Society (PRSSA) which is a pre-professional organization that public relations or communications students (and all students for that matter) can partake in. Recently, I just applied to be one of their e-board members that control their content creation and blog, which I have also written for here if you are interested.
I have really enjoyed what I have been able to participate in so far with the group and the friends that I have already made because of it. It's really not easy trying to find your niche in college and sometimes you just have to apply yourself and be open to opportunities. PRSSA has taught me that being present and showing up will make all the difference for yourself professionally. It has also been a great way for me to actually step inside the industry and get real experience from PR professionals. So, let's hope I get the position.
04. I've been keeping up with yoga and continuing with it ever since sophomore year, but the repetition and same vinyasa flows have been making me a little bored, to be honest. As much as I love it, I need to switch things up a bit with my fitness routine. Just this last week I tried out a boxing boot camp, that killed my arms, but made me even more motivated to use different parts of my body I never thought could get sore.
Besides worrying about my relationship status, there are a lot of worse scenarios that I could think of that don't effect me right now, so I need to remind myself that my problems now are miniscule compared to what I might be facing a month, year, or five years from now. I need to enjoy this time I have (sounds like I'm dying). I can assure you I am alive and thriving, but there will undoubtedly be good and bad days. What's on your February to-do list?
As January comes to a close, I want to admit that this month was not easy for me. The transition back into school after a very long break and the pressure to improve or resolve last years issues and obstacles had me on the stress train. In the hustle and bustle of schedules and getting to where I need to go, I've lost sight of where I am in my life and what has happened to me thus far. Good and bad. It's almost as if I'm just functioning in a daze at the moment. I know I'll get back on my feet soon though because I've come to realize that where I am right now is a very good place.
It is very easy to get lost in a different sight of things: obsessing over stuff like a dent you got in your dad's car (damn you excessively high snow drifts), worrying about how much money you have and whether you can afford groceries for the week, that paper you haven't started yet, your relationship status, the job you have and despise, or that stinky professor that drags on and on about their personal life—it all happens to us. We have busy ass lives, and I get that, but at the end of the day, we're safe, we have people who love us, we have ways of making money to sustain ourselves, we're smart and educated, healthy, and have all the things we could possibly want. So, why do we take it all for granted?
Over the course of my teen years, I have dwelled on so many things. Looking back now, those "things" don't even affect me or make sense for that matter. Like whether or not I had the right pair of Uggs in middle school. It seems so juvenile and ridiculous of me to even worry about, but it did make me worry. Now, I worry about whether or not I can afford to buy milk for my roommate and I. How the tables have turned. There are always going to be things to worry about, but a lot of the time they're not worth wasting valuable time and energy on when you could be reconnecting with friends or pursuing your hobbies the best way you know how.
I'm a victim of comparison and have concluded that it's my mortal enemy—my kryptonite. With social media and every bad juju there is online, it can be hard to separate yourself and I've definitely fallen to that level many times. In that way, I think many people can relate, and I feel as though that it devalues the most important things we should be worrying about like calling your mom or showing up for one of your friends.
As the month moves forward and there are things to look forward to in my life, I want to try to take my best foot forward. I know there are opportunities waiting for me and losing sight of who I am and where I am is not on the agenda. Sometimes, it's okay to check yourself. We need to reflect on our feelings and sights of things. Be grateful for what you have and stop counting the days and start counting the moments.
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