I know the holiday season is nearing us—or is basically already here according to Target and many other chain businesses that just can't calm the f*ck down for a bit until they put out Christmas lights and decorations. Just this past weekend I put up lights on my neighbor's tree! What a quick goodbye to Halloween. I'm not even sure people are even concerned about Thanksgiving this year. Anyway, time is going by and everything seems to be closer than we thought. 

You know, something as simple as an "okay," can be taken in so many different ways in so many different contexts. I won't go into examples, but it's definitely true. Our definitions of it vary so much. However, I want to make sure that everybody understands that whatever they're currently going through, good or bad, is going to be okay. 

I've talked so much about my mental health and it in general because self-care is pivotal in all of our wellbeings; we have to make sure that we can allow ourselves to feel good, sad, mad, stressed, overwhelmed, confused, and everything else your brain may throw at you. We need to also understand that we are all human and sometimes life can seem like a living hell, but that's okay. 

I want this post to feel light-hearted because I could go into a lot of deep topics about not being okay, and the message is short and simple—you are going to get through it. I may not know how, the circumstances, the reasons, or the context, but I feel like a lot of people never take a step back to breathe. Talk it out, think it out, and know that you can do anything you put your mind to.

You will fail and struggle, but a positive and a persistent mindset conquers all. You get to decide what holds you back and you get to decide what drives you forward. People are there to support you and praise you. Wake up every day knowing that you get a chance to start over. 

One of my good friends, Isaac, and I sat for about three hours in a Starbucks chatting all things life: our current happenings, future goals, our social lives, and everything else to catch up with because we haven't seen each other in about a year. However, he's one of those friends you could not see in a year and then meet up and feel like you saw them yesterday. Both of us got to talking about where we were and wanted to be, it was crazy just how ambitious both of us have become since high school and all we've achieved. 

We still couldn't believe we have been friends for about four years, and I learned that one of the strongest assets to a long-living relationship with someone is not worried about where you're gonna be in two, three, or four years from when you meet. I think this just applies to everything, but I remember being so stressed in high school about college and now I'm at my number one dream school and I have no clue how I'm already a sophomore—it still awes me. It just kind of worked out. 

I think the desire to be "okay" directly comes from your outlook on the situation you're in because honestly, a lot of times I feel like I could be somewhere entirely different. Cut all the comparisons, doubts, or regrets, because where you are in your life should only matter to you and it is your job to find purpose in the present moment. Stop dwelling on what happened or what could happen—when all you are doing is the best you can today in time, you are going to be just fine.

I would definitely say that writing has come easily to me over the years, but when I was younger it was hard. I write so much nowadays anyway that I feel much more comfortable than I did in middle school or high school. I was not a good reader, but I was a proficient writer. 

You see, the thing is was that in my school, at least, we were taught specific ways to read, analyze, infer, and explain sorts of things that we were learning about—seems like any other school curriculum. My school was driven on the basis of standardized tests, like many schools, so what they wanted from students (in terms of writing) was the average five paragraph sandwich essay with little room to elaborate on our own thoughts because using "I" was forbidden. 

I don't resent my English schooling, but I wish it had been different because what I have learned from my own writing and college is that none of it is important (for the most part). What we should be learning is correct grammar and that is still something I struggle with constantly. Kids do not know how to properly comma splice or even the difference between "its" and "it's."

I'm no "grammar nazi" and I definitely don't discriminate based on how well or poor you write because I know that everyone is at a different level and pace when it comes to writing—a lot of people hate it. I guess my background with writing and being surrounded by English majors kind of swayed me a bit into the passion. The freedom of using my own words and thoughts to talk about whatever I want, especially on my own platform, has been one of the most gratifying experiences in my life. Writing is a part of me and always will. 

Many people ask me how I can handle writing freely, with writing for my college blog and editing, as well as, managing five to six-page papers on a weekly basis. All I can say is that when I'm in the mood, I'm a writing machine. Words can just easily flow off my fingers. I think it's not only therapeutic but introspectively reflective and releasing. 

My college writing, for one thing, has been more about my own interpretations, so instead of research and context-based writing I did in high school, I actually get to think about things on my terms not relating to a certain article or opinion of somebody else. There's no "second meaning" and my professors aren't forcing us to make wild inferences about certain metaphors or what deeper meaning something has. High school focused too much on the content and I think it strayed our abilities to create our own understanding of the texts. 

I guess the trick or key to prideful writing is that you can't really compare yours to everybody else's. I know there are far better writers than me out there, but I think recently I've gotten really comfortable with my voice and that's proven some really great work that I've made. Maybe it's also a mentality, too. My mood, for one thing, has been pretty positive lately and that's really affected the way I write and go about writing. Some weeks I feel like shit and lack the inspiration I can normally find. 

Since I have basically been writing nonstop this past couple of months, there's without a doubt that I've improved on some aspect of my writing. I still have trouble using "big" words, sentence variance, and everything else. However, little by little I've noticed that it's easier to form my complex ideas and connect them all so I don't fall astray from the main concept of my writing—or at least I think so. 

I'm the biggest critic of my own writing and no A or B on a paper can tell me whether or not I really did a good job. Of course, I make mistakes in my writing, could elaborate more on certain subjects, fix the structure of my thoughts, and so forth, but I know whether or not the writing I did was created with full effort and purpose. 

One of the biggest things I've learned with writing is that simplicity is a strong suit. Learning how to write less with concision is probably the hardest things for college students and writers in general. A lot of people feel like they have to say so much about everything, but you really need to get to the point and move on. It takes time to develop your style, voice, and comfortability with writing. It takes time, patience, and effort. I'm constantly learning and I hope everybody takes the opportunity to do the same!

I am in shock by how fast this month has gone by because Halloween is in literally a day. I swear it was September like yesterday. I keep talking about time on here and it is still so surprising to me just how quickly it all changes and how unbelievably fast experiences go by. That said, I thought this post could be a little reflective on all the fall-related things I've done already because it's been a very eventful season. 

Near the end of September, my family and I went pumpkin picking at a rural pumpkin farm in Illinois. It was a little disappointing for my mom especially because we always try to look for those family owned and uncommercialized "pick-your-own" pumpkin patches. However, a lot of the ones close to using either has too many people now or already has pumpkins picked for you—or both. 

Our tradition of going out into the field and looking for the perfect pumpkin is something my family and I love doing. We even brought my dog Cooper along because we also love taking fall pictures while we do it. We did end up bringing home about five big ones, but it still wasn't entirely the same this year and I guess it was okay. 

So, after that, I actually got a chance to go visit my Grandpa in Michigan over a weekend. I love making special short trips to see family and it was really nice because I also saw my uncle and my dad's best friend who I've known since I was really little. Small reunions like that are always so sweet and I'm glad I got to go with my dad and my older sister, Melissa. 

Over this past month, I've really become family oriented and have realized how much I value family and make those efforts to connect with people I care about. I've always had that personality trait, but just recently it's been very evident and that's always a great thing to have.