I'm already halfway into college and I'm still fathoming reasons I made it through high school and how that all even happened. I had one of the most positive roller coaster rides in high school and managed to survive and experience as many things as I possibly could. Two years later, and I don't know what the hell I'm doing or would like to do yet, but that's okay because it all works out in the end. Or so we hope.
I spent half of my high school career wondering what my purpose was and the other half wondering what my purpose was going to be when I graduated. What I was going to do and where I was going to go. High school stressed me out the most sophomore and senior year. Mainly because I didn't make the softball team and I was waiting on a scholarship I heard back from a week after I graduated. So, you can say things got a lil crazy in my mind. And now my youngest sister is going to graduate this year and I thought this would be a nice post for her to look at (if she even dares to).
There are some things I wish were put into perspective for me before I left for college, but gradually I managed to figure these out on my own. Even if you aren't going off to college, maybe these help remind you that there are some things we need to accept in life. I'm going to be honest here and say that there will be difficult things that happen to us in this transition and you will be okay.
You are Going to Get Through It
In high school and in college, you are going to have bad days. You might get a D on a paper, you will get lost, you may feel stranded at school, you will want to come home everyday when you can't, you will miss your family, but it is all going to be just fine. There is someone there supporting you and ready to listen to you whenever you need. These little obstacles will pass and you will find a sunnier day ahead.
The Little Things Do Not Matter
You will stress over a group project, worry about how you're going to eat in the dining hall alone, not have best friends right away, or any other small stress that might bug you. You cannot let yourself sweat the small things because they will not serve you in the future week, month, or year from now.
You Will Lose Friends
You are going to lose high school friends and that's just a part of everybody leaving home and growing up. You need to know that not everyone is going to "stay in touch" with you forever. While it is easy to Snapchat and all that with your friends, it will never be the same as meeting up in the lunchroom everyday and having that same group of people to talk to. Your entire friend sphere will change and you will have to accept a new diversity of people into your life because college is all about new perspectives.
The College You Choose Does Not Matter
Any college you end up choosing will give you the education and experience you want no matter what because it is what you ultimately make of it. My college experience so far has taught me to see the world differently more than high school ever did and I want you to not worry about the superficial things such as the college you pick or the fun parties everyone else is going to. There is so much more to college.
Not Knowing Your Path is Okay
You are going to get confused and feel like everyone else knows where they're headed. You can't think this. The way we compare ourselves to others gets the best of us and distracts us from what we need to focus on in our own lives. The more we worry about others, the less we achieve. Why put that much pressure on yourself?
You Will Have Regrets
You are going to second guess yourself at times. You will ask yourself if you could have done things differently in high school and made other choices in college. You might regret not auditioning for something, putting in more work for an exam, or all of the above. Worrying about what happened and what could have happened is not entirely in your control.
You Will Fail
You are going to totally not understand a chapter and completely bomb a quiz or a test. However, using these failures as growth will only help you succeed. Accept failure, but don't get discouraged from it.
Money Does Not Always Leave You in College
I thought that I was going to be broke my entire time at college, but there are many ways you can generate money throughout college that made me feel financially secure enough. Budgeting and taking note of expenses for one thing will help you not blow all your money, but finding an on-campus job, babysitting on the weekends, or selling clothes online are great ways to make extra cash. Your wallet can survive if you are smart about it.
You Will Feel Alone at Times
It is going to feel totally scary and awkward when most of your days are without the normal crew of people you see and talk to. You will not be with your best friends and you are going to feel like there is no one around to be your friend. In reality, everyone is in the same boat looking for someone to eat with, talk to, and to feel less uncomfortable with at school. Say hi to someone, but also embrace getting to know yourself more by yourself. College is about learning to be alone with your thoughts.
People are There to Help and Support You
No one just hands you the batan and says, "you're on your own forever". You have a family back home that loves you and a school of advisors and professors that are there to help you and to make your college experience worthwhile. There is no penalty for asking for help. No one will make fun of you. No one is going to judge you. Do not feel embarrased for being homesick. It takes time to adjust and you are not in it by yourself.
Emily, I hope you have a wonderful senior year and I know you will succeed in your college adventure to come. Things will come and go, challenges will arise, but great things are going to come out of it all. You are smart, beautiful, and strong enough to tackle anything and everything you set your mind to. I love you derp.
Your big sis,
Natalie
It's the beginning of the school year and all things are going good: you got new clothes, new classes, new friends, new professors, and a new kick in your step as you glide on through your first couple weeks of school. Sounds like the perfect beginning to an easy and smooth school year. Right?
For some kids, it might be this simple, but for the average and anxious college student like me, fireworks are going off in my head. New things means more work. More work means more energy. And more energy means stress. Now I've addressed taking breaks from the internet and all that, but I don't think I've really stressed about how to take a mental break—an emptying of your mind and all bad thoughts that do not serve you whatsoever.
Now I have to admit, I have had a pretty great beginning to my sophomore year. I've moved into my on-campus apartment, everything is pretty much settled and decorated (there will be a room and small apartment tour up at somepoint), I've started my major classes like public relations and my minor which is spanish, I have become the editor for my women's campus blog called Her Campus, and I just recently became a member of my college's Public Relations Student Society of America (PRSSA).
So, lots of things have been going on recently and I have been a busy college girl these past few weeks. I have so many things I would like to share about my experiences in these things so please stay tuned! I thought that this post would be a nice refresher as to what is going on in my life at the moment and what plans I have for the future.
And you know what, not making plans is fine, too. I feel like a lot of college kids get so ahead of themselves with all their passionate "dreams" (ahem, like me) and try to apply themselves a bit more than they can handle. Not saying many people can't, but it can be easy to over-involve yourself very quickly when school begins.
I'll be honest, I've even signed up for more than I think I can handle. While, it was my goal this year to be more involved, there comes a time when you have to accept the fact that you can't do everything all at once. You have to prioritize a balance of things you need to do and the things you want to do.
It's time to take a break. I know we can find ourselves comparing the things we have and don't have or the things we've done and haven't done with that of others. I'm guilty of it too. However, when I have these negative thoughts, I do something in my mind that makes them instantly go away...
Picture these negative thoughts as a stream of air or part of a cloud. Your mind is a blue sky and your goal is to put those thoughts into that puffy cloud and blow them away to make it clear again.
Especially when I'm doing yoga and I get distracted for the smallest moment, I do this and instantly come back to focus on the importance of the present moment. Not comparing myself to others, not thinking about past interactions, and not worrying about what I have done or have to do the next day. Clearing our minds, especially as a young college student, isn't always easy, but taking just a moment to come back and ground yourself will always be mentally rewarding. What's been on your mind lately?
Congratulations! You've made it a year into college. Now what? For many college sophomores, this is the time when you ask yourself, "what the hell am I doing?". It can seem pretty overwhelming for a lot of college students because this is when we start our major classes and getting into our future goals. There may be things you want to join that you didn't freshman year, plans you want to make for the next couple years, and things you need to start to make those plans happen. It might feel like a time bomb is ticking.
If you're anything like me, an ambitious "freak," I feel you. I definitely have things I want to do within the next three years of college and I can't just sit on my bed and watch the world go by while I'm afraid of taking the next steps and getting out of my comfort zone a bit. That's one part of it.
In college, in order to be a part of things, you have to put yourself out there. I understand how it can make a lot of new college students feel a bit anxious and scared because it's a whole new scene of people that you're not used to. One of the ways I look at it is, "who cares?" The fact that no one knows your life story, makes it even more reassuring that there won't be any judgement...right? At least that's what I think.
Whether you want to join a new club, audition for a music group, apply for a job, or anything else, you need to apply yourself and try it out. It's always worth trying, applying, and trying again. I think you'll regret it if you don't. You might even meet new people along the way.
I don't mean to scare anyone off from trying new things—that's not the point. However, I have definitely felt like I need to start pushing some things that I want to achieve while I'm at school. It's hard for me to stay motivated and focused at times, so this year needs to change.
Use Your Resources
One way of starting this change is by going to see your advisor. It's always a great idea to get a different perspective on things and to talk out your goals with him/her in order to start on the right track that's best for you. A lot of people do not take advantage of the great resources they have, and I would highly recommend emailing and setting up an appointment with them. My advisor, who's a rockstar behind the scenes, has given me connections to many helpful resources on campus and has helped prepared me for things I want to get done before I graduate.
Get More Involved
Another way of tackling things is to get more involved, meeting more people, and networking. Now, not many of us have the desire or need to get more involved, and that's totally okay. I would recommend visiting your college's involvement fair and at least signing up for a couple organizations or clubs that interest you. If it didn't work out freshman year and nothing looked good, come with an open mind, find out more information, and just go to a meeting. You never know, maybe acapella was something you were destined for, or even a service institution would bring you closer to more people and the community.
There's no harm in trying new things at college.
I felt like last year I never stepped out and explored enough. Freshmen, though, also need time to adjust so I don't want new students to feel like they have to overload their busy schedules either. I was also figuring things out and this year I am more confident in myself about the things I truly want to be apart of. Getting too involved can set yourself up for disaster. I would rather be passionately involved in a few clubs than loosely involved in many clubs. The great thing is, if a club or organization is not for you, you are allowed to leave. Life happens and people can get over it.
Pace Yourself
Sometimes the best way to find opportunities is to stop looking for them. Yeah. That's what I said. When you are too focused on finding extracurriculers or resume builders, you lose focus of school work and the reason you're at college—to learn and earn a degree. There are so many great opportunities at college that come when you are least expecting them to, so go with the flow.
The best things come when you continue to focus on your top priorities with an open mind. Sometimes planning everything makes us expect to gain a certain goal or objective, but the reality is that we need room for change and that is totally okay. Take a deep breath, and stop thinking about what everyone else is doing.
Not everybody's college experience is or will be the same. We all have our own ways of moving about the world, so why worry about others? Comparing your college experience to someone else's will only set you up for a more stressful year.
Explore Your Purpose
College is here for you to explore new things and explore new things about yourself. If we all had the same exact experience at college, what fun would that be? Different intellectual minds coming together, sharing new ideas, learning various perspectives, and seeing the world in another point of view is what college, at least to me, has shown.
Whether you are a new student, or a frantic sophomore, or even an upperclassmen, I want you to know that everything will work out just fine. If you take the steps outside of your comfort zone a bit, reach out for help, utilize resources on campus, pace yourself, and go with the flow, you will find that not everyone is trying to "beat you" or "show up" your college experience.
Your college experience is what you make of it.
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