Looking Ahead...
I keep thinking back to the first phases of quarantine and what my "old life" was like before all of the chaos ensued. A time of great uncertainty, and even after a year, I am still finding myself exhausted, defeated and latching onto any little piece of hope and happiness I can muster up as this season begins to bloom anew. I have ten more weeks of my senior year of college, and as awestruck and unreal it is, this time has been an integral pause for me before a much deserved chapter comes to a close.
Even though winter has dragged on, things are finally beginning to slowly open up, more people are getting vaccinated, and it feels like we can kind of claim our lives back. I have noticed that my mood is brightening, my energy is lifting, and I am ready to take what I've learned during lock down and shape a new life for myself in the months to come. We've learned to be true to ourselves, slow down and take care of our mental health and wellbeing, and hold on to our close-knit support systems—so I'd love to chat about some positive parts of this new life that I want to take with me this year.
01. On patience and gratitude. Everything felt like a waiting game, and in isolation, the walls were coming down on me. There was no way in telling when things were safe, when I might be able to go back to school, move out, when I might be getting vaccinated, or what the future would hold past college. However, knowing these privileges already have humbled me during this time in knowing that some day at some time things will be a lot more certain. What felt like a dreadful waiting game, was my inability to just accept what my current situation was and why I was there. It can be so clouded when your perspective is limited to your parent's house, but I've come to appreciate all of the things that are never thought about like having the bare necessities and being able to work and go to school in the comfort and safety of home. I need to continue to broaden my perspective, be patient, and go with the flow. Because what is waiting for me will come.
02. Embracing this time to myself. I am definitely more of an introvert, but I think lock down has turned us all into introverts? I had just went downtown Chicago for the first time in months and there were people eating outside together and it's just a whole new world to me. Social gatherings weren't always my forte anyway, but I've realized that since I'm going to be living with myself for the rest of my life, this independence has been otherworldly to my personal growth and love for who I am. Not only that, but finding what makes me tick, what I need to improve on mentally, and to just not feel like I need to have all of these people surrounding me to feel validated. I've been content in discovering who I am and on my own time.
03. Leaning on true friends. I feel like we may have found out who are real friends are through all of this. You know, who checked up on you. Who FaceTimed you. Who sat in the back trunk of their car to chat (socially distanced) with you. For those who checked up on me and were a constant presence and support during this time, I am forever grateful for you. But hey, I won't hold it against you if things became distant, either. I know we've all managed to hide into our hobbit holes and deal with our own sh*t. So, I've learned to live and let live with friendships that are blossoming and friendships that are fizzling.
04. Body positivity and putting my motivations towards self healing. Over the course of lock down, I had told myself that I would stick to a strict diet and work out routine, doing online yoga videos and making sure I wasn't sitting around snacking all day. To my demise, that motivation plummeted about a month after. Without group classes and going out, I just never felt it necessary to workout every day—and guess what? That was okay. I've let myself rest. I've let myself recover. I realize that my body is in the shape it needs to be in and while I treat it well, I cannot let exercise be a coping mechanism for everything that needs to be worked out in my head.
We still have an inch of snow in Chicago, but this time of year is when my wardrobe starts to transition from snow boots to bikini shopping—and I'm here for it. As much as I love layering in the fall and winter, I am also looking forward to much simpler, bright and breezy outfits as the sun begins to outlast the days ahead. The last time I wore a skirt was probably early in high school, so I'm excited to switch up my look a bit with new and refined spring staples this year.
A Simple Pair of White Kicks
I never got hooked on the Nike Air Force 1 trend, but have always loved the way white sneakers look (after I got over the fact that they are, eventually, going to turn yellow). I'm a true stan of Adidas sneakers mainly because their cloud foam soles are the best for wide feet. These are the Adidas Advantage Sneakers and I am being so cautious not to step in any rain puddles. They're a classic pair of white sneakers, but with an added touch of personality with the gold panel on the heel.
Flowy tops and Bottoms
Echoing the growing trends of athleisure and sweatpants that winter and this pandemic brought, flowy skirts, dresses, and tops achieve the same form of comfort and movement we all need this spring. I have always loved a cute and simple peasant top, but never a cropped version. I love this Wild Fable Puff Top and the square neckline that I see everybody sporting nowadays. Pair it with some flared or skinny denim and you're all set for a Mamma Mia remake.
I've have been averse from wearing skirts, just because I never knew what types of tops I could wear them with and I also had trouble finding skirts that complimented my waistline. However, we are not limited to miniskirts, ladies! Go out and grab this Madewell Georgette Tiered Maxi Skirt while it's on sale now! It's the perfect breathable length for us tall chicks who can't be seen in short shorts or miniskirts. It's versatile and can be worn casually or dressed up! I am also in love with this New Connection mustard button down dress I bought in France two years ago, and found a similar cami version on Amazon, here. Don't worry, this one also has pockets—a must have.
Everything Sage Green
Green has always been my favorite color, hence the color of my room, and I am thrilled that it is back in style this year. Nail polishes, sweat suits, and sneakers galore are coming out with this subtle sage green color, so when I saw these Universal Thread Adelaide Sandals at Target, I had to pick them up. I never spend too much on strappy sandals, mainly because I own a bunch of them and wear them out. I'm curious to see how these elastic straps will last and I'm excited to not have to buckle them every time I put them on!
Pair your look with an essential leather crossbody and some sweet shades—you look stunnin' honey! March is a month of promise and less sweat pant wearing indeed. I'm always one to find a bit more playfulness with my looks during the springtime, so I hope this edit has inspired you to get out the shorts and sandals after springing forward this weekend. What's on your spring fashion wishlist?
The one thing inherently stable in my life at the moment is my love of organizing. If there's anything I can control and manipulate in this current moment, it's the four corners of my bedroom. As a kid, I was always in love with feng shui and the power of transforming a space that fits your comfort, creativity, and mentality. I have always loved interior design. It's a hobby of mine that I haven't quite been able to pursue, but within my personal space, I have found that there's power in the ability to create a space that fills you with joy. Scratch that. "Sparks joy".
However, I've also noticed that this sense of control over my surroundings has become toxic at times. When something isn't quite right within my space, I tend to dwell on it: clean it, reorganize, or move things around at a ridiculous rate. My mom will ask me, "didn't you just vacuum?". And while those are probably words that every mom would prefer saying to their child, I have found myself rearranging or cleaning things just to cope with whatever is happening in my head or things I want to avoid. It's a blessing and a curse really.
So, I've come to terms with my love of organizing and catering the space to my needs. I love the way my room looks and how I've been able to express myself within it. It has truly become a place of solace over the years, and while I do not plan on living in my parents house in the future, this is where I am in my life and so I feel it is best to reassess how this room—this space—has molded the person I am today.
Whether it be the mindfully stacked books on my shelf, the color coded closet, my mini botanical window sill, or the perfect trio of pillows on my bed. It all serves a purpose. I know that not many people think twice about what shade of blanket they have on their bed or what white space is filled perfectly on their wall, but to me it signifies balance, cohesiveness, creativity, and well—me.
Perhaps creating an aesthetically pleasing room is just a facade, but to me it represents so much more. It's my safe space, my happy place, and where I can cope with everything else that needs to be organized in my head. Having a type-A personality has allowed me to feel structured, but at times, I am in need of that release from perfection, from clean lines, and from comfort.
I guess that's what being stuck in a room for over a year does to you. There are things we have to let be and we can't control everything. But if it means living in a space that I love and where I can find some sort of control—well, I'll just be here re-organizing my bookshelf.
It felt like just yesterday we were going into lock down, being introduced to face masks, Tiger King, and were given the promise of what was supposed to be a two-week break which turned into a year of struggle, sadness, and anger. I always come back to my blog in reflection of this year because there was just so much that tested me and my mentality that writing it down seems to be the easiest way to cope and grow from it all. As I'm writing this, I'm listening to Kacey Musgrave's "Rainbow" and one of her comforting lyrics struck a cord in me:
Well the sky has finally opened
The rain and wind stopped blowin'
But you're stuck out in the same ol' storm again
You hold tight to your umbrella
Well, darlin', I'm just tryin' to tell ya
That there's always been a rainbow hangin' over your head
No matter the dark clouds we face, there will always be sunshine waiting for you on the other side. As we near into the season of blooms, rain, sunshine, mud, and everything in between, I am looking forward to this new change in seasons no matter what turbulent weather it brings. No matter what disaster of a year we face, there is always something to look forward to. And I'm marching towards it with a spring in my step. Here are some things I'm looking forward to this month:
01. Brighter days and longer evenings are an uplift from the seasonal depression that isolates us indoors at 4 o'clock, not to mention winter. Everything looks so drab and dreary around my neck of the woods, so in its most simplest form, blooming nature and sunnier days are going to keep me motivated.
02. Rotating my wardrobe. I have been wearing the same three pairs of pants this winter because my endeavors are limited to grocery shopping, dog walking, and the occasional trip to Starbucks, but other than that I don't think I've been around enough people for them to notice that I've worn the same pair of jeans over and over. Spring just expands the options from jeans and a sweater to a possible dress and a sweater or at least a blouse of some sort. I'm ready to put the snow boots away!
03. Developing a new fitness routine that I'm actually motivated to do. I spent so many years doing yoga that I think I dreaded doing it in my basement these past few months. Going to a studio acted as a place of solace and routine, so the thought of having to try and continue to be motivated in my freezing concrete basement was never something I succeeded at. I started running, which I found to be a great way to decompress and just release my emotions through a blasting Lizzo song. Perhaps this spring will be a time to try something new, I need to get out of my comfort zone (safely, of course), so I want to make it a goal to at least find a new type of exercise or activity that I can routinely enjoy doing this spring.
04. Continuing my reading journey. In 2020, I read 17 books in total. Most of them were a blend of non-fiction and fiction, so I've been proud of my openness to try so many different genres as well like historical fiction, thrillers, sci-fi, fantasy, and much more. This year, I want to read at least a book a month. I am currently reading Yaa Gyasi's Transcendent Kingdom which is an emotionally raw and intimate book about a Ghanaian family living in Alabama. The main character, Gifty, is a sixth year PhD candidate in neuroscience at the Stanford University School of Medicine who studies the neural circuits of depression and addiction in mice. Their behavior mimics the same experiences she has faced with her brother, who suffers from an OxyContin addiction, and mother who suffers from a deep depression. It parallels between mother nature and human nature through science and religion in a refreshingly relatable way.
05. I am finishing my second to last quarter of senior year strong. With 24 more days to go, I am reflecting on the good ol' days as a freshman and how I imagined I would spend my last year of college. Probably partying or thinking about jobs, but mainly focusing on the latter. It has been great being able to put my energy towards figuring out what I plan to see myself doing, and the support from my professor's and past employers has helped immensely. For my last quarter of senior year, I will be taking copywriting, advertising campaigns, climate change communication, and of course, wine education and management. An elective that only seniors (of age) can take, but since it will be virtual, I'm curious if we will be able to try any of the wines. Perhaps ordering a bottle or two will be considered our "reading material". I'm excited to have a laid back last quarter and celebrate by learning something new about the drink that has gotten me through this year. Cheers!
What are you looking forward to this month?
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