How to Let the Light In

Not gonna lie, I had one of the best weekends I've had in a while. Sometimes I feel like the world is going full speed ahead and I'm at a standstill—and vice versa. When at times, you can feel so low, have an amazing high, and then back down again, it's hard to tell what's in store when all you can rely on is hope. 

I have great things ahead of me, but sometimes I wonder why I am capable of having all of these things. It's too easy. I feel guilty about it. I tell myself to remember all of the great things I have, the people in my life, the connections I've made, the stability and security, and a small part of me is fearful that it could all be taken away in an instant. 

Practicing gratitude has been only one of the most grounding factors in my life, as well as, allowing myself to feel good. Jealousy, comparison, resentment, fear, and all of that bad juju we feel in small bits every once in a while outshine all the good that we forget we have in our lives or are able of having and deserving. Some of the best moments I've had are with the people I love—sine clothes, money, job, status, social media following, or superficial obsessions. 

It takes a lot of introspectivity to realize that we are all capable of happiness if we allow ourselves to see past the matter of our own desires. Maybe it's not happiness, per se, but it could definitely be something better. I have to confess, I find myself in a position of deep fear and just utter self-depreciation at times. I'll be in bed, on the train, in class, getting coffee, etc. and these thoughts just invade my brain. 

Lately, though, I have felt a remarkable amount of promptitude and at a pace that I can follow. I'm busy, that's for sure, but the only direction is up from here. I've kicked off producing more quality content on here that I am beginning to keep up with and actually love. I'm proud of the creative work I am doing and hope that more can inspire me to continue. Including new social media projects, I am working on for Her Campus DePaul, my college's online women's magazine. I also got back into photography and have been picking up some graduation photo side gigs, my camera definitely needed to be taken out more!

I am also studying abroad in like two months, which is UNREAL. All of my dreams of traveling are going to become a reality and I think it will hit me once I head to the airport that morning. We will be attending the Cannes Lions Festival of Creativity the first week networking with prestigious brands and building our portfolios, so I am extremely excited I get to be a part of it this year.

I guess things with me academically, socially, and personally, have been really good. Maybe too good, but I'm not going to question it. I still have moments I digress, but it has been easier for me to control those feelings and a little sunshine can help. 

I worry about a lot, and usually about little things that don't matter. Remind yourself of the little wins you have each day: whether someone complimented your necklace, you got a good grade, or maybe the barista got your order right this time. Whatever it is, there is always something to be thankful for and appreciative of. Practicing gratitude every day or when you think you need it can make all the difference in times of grey. Also, smile :)