As January comes to a close, I want to admit that this month was not easy for me. The transition back into school after a very long break and the pressure to improve or resolve last years issues and obstacles had me on the stress train. In the hustle and bustle of schedules and getting to where I need to go, I've lost sight of where I am in my life and what has happened to me thus far. Good and bad. It's almost as if I'm just functioning in a daze at the moment. I know I'll get back on my feet soon though because I've come to realize that where I am right now is a very good place.
It is very easy to get lost in a different sight of things: obsessing over stuff like a dent you got in your dad's car (damn you excessively high snow drifts), worrying about how much money you have and whether you can afford groceries for the week, that paper you haven't started yet, your relationship status, the job you have and despise, or that stinky professor that drags on and on about their personal life—it all happens to us. We have busy ass lives, and I get that, but at the end of the day, we're safe, we have people who love us, we have ways of making money to sustain ourselves, we're smart and educated, healthy, and have all the things we could possibly want. So, why do we take it all for granted?
Over the course of my teen years, I have dwelled on so many things. Looking back now, those "things" don't even affect me or make sense for that matter. Like whether or not I had the right pair of Uggs in middle school. It seems so juvenile and ridiculous of me to even worry about, but it did make me worry. Now, I worry about whether or not I can afford to buy milk for my roommate and I. How the tables have turned. There are always going to be things to worry about, but a lot of the time they're not worth wasting valuable time and energy on when you could be reconnecting with friends or pursuing your hobbies the best way you know how.
I'm a victim of comparison and have concluded that it's my mortal enemy—my kryptonite. With social media and every bad juju there is online, it can be hard to separate yourself and I've definitely fallen to that level many times. In that way, I think many people can relate, and I feel as though that it devalues the most important things we should be worrying about like calling your mom or showing up for one of your friends.
As the month moves forward and there are things to look forward to in my life, I want to try to take my best foot forward. I know there are opportunities waiting for me and losing sight of who I am and where I am is not on the agenda. Sometimes, it's okay to check yourself. We need to reflect on our feelings and sights of things. Be grateful for what you have and stop counting the days and start counting the moments.
Post a Comment
Thank you for commenting!