Dealing with Flying Anxiety

Flying anxiety. The fear of flying. I am scared of being airborne. 

Ever since I was really little I have had a fear of being trapped in an aluminum tube that is shot into mid air and I have had to tolerate the terrifying ups and downs of turbulence. 

Thoughts that go through my head:

1) I am going to crash and die

2) Who on the flight looks like a potential terrorist

3) Where are the exits

4) I am okay

5) I am not okay

6) If I die, who is going to remember me?

7) I'll be on the news...

8) I can't say goodbye to my family

9) What about the people I left at home... and much much more...

Now don't get me wrong, I love travel. I love the feeling of being in a new place with new people and new sites to see. When I'm older hopefully I get to travel around the whole world. Now why did we have to invent the airplane, well for one thing, I could be at my aunt's house in less than three hours by plane and I don't have to listen to my little sister blast Ariana Grande on a 14 hour car ride. Air travel is one of the world's greatest privileges. I just hate it. 

I hate going through security and having to feel guilty and scared like they're going to suspect I'm a terrorist (I'm not thanks). I hate taking off my belongings and trusting the airport with my things. I hate having to eat before I fly because my stomach is already twisting in knots before we reach the terminal. I hate waiting to board the airplane, it's like waiting for my death call. I hate entering the plane and and everybody staring at me like I am a criminal. I hate having to decide where to sit. Window seat or aisle seat. Never the middle. I hate the sounds on an airplane. The blasting air conditioner and beeps and revs of the engine. I hate driving to the runway. I hate lift off. I hate the whole ride. 

I love landing. Land. Sweet land. 

Now how did I cope with flying to experience all of that? Well when I was little I had many stuffed animals and my parents with me to keep me moving and distracted. I even had Mr. Sketch markers and would bring them in my little barbie backpack so I could smell them whenever, wherever. Yeah it was probably promoting hallucinogens and wasn't good for my health every time I got nervous but, damn was it a great placebo effect. (Now c'mon people I wasn't addicted to smelling markers. Hasn't every kid done something like that?).  As of today, I have my phone, music, books, homework (lots of it), and my journal. 

> keeping myself distracted

> keeping myself comfortable

> keeping myself from having to go pee

Are all the things I try to focus on and do while I'm traveling. Flying is just something all humans are going to have to do at some point. I just need to learn to overcome this fear of flying because the chance of actually crashing on a plane are 1 in a million.  I always focus on the destination. What I am going to do and who I am going to see.

Flying will be okay. I am okay and everything will be fine.

Xoxo Nat